30 before 30 - progress · Food

10. Make an edible lemon meringue pie

When I was a teenager I thought that lemon meringue pie was the most sophisticated dessert in the world, closely followed by Vienetta. (Don’t judge me – I did grow up in Reading!) So, being the sophisticated person that I am, it’s always seemed to me that I should be able to make this without any problem.

I would say I’ve tried to make it at least ten times, and every single time has been a catastrophic failure: not even a it-just-tasted-sort-of-bad failure, I’ve literally had to throw it in the bin every time. It takes hours to make and just about every bit of equipment in the kitchen, so it’s incrediblyย bloody annoyingย when it goes wrong.

This week, however, I’ve made a bit of a breakthrough and discovered the secret ingredient – getting my sis to help!! And I’ve only gone and made an edible lemon meringue pie!! It looks sort of weird, it tastes… alright, so I’m going to put this one down as an unparalleled success. Mostly because that means (thank god) that I never have to make one again!

Here’s a quick step-by-step with some grainy, horrible looking photos for you all to be amazed by:

Step 1: make pastry, put in flan dish (or, in my case, cake tin – oops!). I’m not including a photo here as it looked so godawful. Bake blind – yeah I’ve got baking beans! I’m a pro!!


Step 2: Mix together a disgusting amount of butter, lemon juice, lemon zest, double cream, and an entire can of condensed milk. Vile. (oh hi, glamorous assistant!)

Step 3: Pour into the cooked pastry case then put back in the oven. Eat all the leftover mixture. Feel very, very sick.


Step 4: Make the meringue, using entirely different ingredients to the recipe, and spend ages arguing over whether or not your peaks are stiff enough (nice little innuendo for you there).

Step 5: Spoon the meringue over the pie, bake for ten mins, then realise you’ve eaten far too much sugar to even contemplate eating a piece.

..and that’s all there is to it!

Thank you so much for your help and patience Jane! xxx


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