30 before 30 - progress · Sports

21. Go to a football match

15 Oct 2016, Crystal Palace v West Ham

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My very first football match!

Selhurst Park is a total mission to get to from North London. Anywhere that requires a National Rail train doesn’t even count as proper London. After fuelling up on Turkish food, beer and espresso, we made it to the stadium with about 10 minutes to go before kick-off. Now that I’ve visited one stadium and seen one game I am now definitely qualified to be a sports commentator, so here’s my match report:

A rainy and windy day at Selhurst Park didn’t turn away the fans, who were pretty ambivalent about the pre-match display from the Crystals (Crystal Palace’s cheerleaders) and Kayla the Crystal Palace eagle (who you can hire to make a guest appearance at your wedding, if that’s your thing…). I didn’t get this at all, I totally loved the eagle – it was massive!! Very cool.

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Crystal Palace were shocking in the first half and West Ham scored within about ten minutes of kick-off. They just couldn’t keep possession, though to be fair it was so rainy that they were sliding about all over the pitch. Everyone in our stand was getting very unhappy, particularly an incredibly fat man in the seat in front of me who was just having a terrible time. Every time he stood up to let someone past him he basically ended up sitting on my lap since his bum was so fat – really gross.

The second half was much better and Palace finally woke up, but not enough to actually complete their objective i.e. score a goal. You have one job guys!! I would explain in great detail exactly what each player did but… I can’t remember what any of them were called and they all ran around a bit, pretended to fall over a bit, got angry for a bit. And erm.. yeah that’s my match report. Crystal Palace 0 – West Ham 1.

I genuinely really enjoyed the match, and the atmosphere was great. Will definitely try to visit another London stadium soon! Up the Palace!!

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